Whew! It is 10 am, and I have had a weird morning! Nothing strange has really happened, just kind of "off". Every other Tuesday I have "free" no working/no volunteering....Oh how I look forward to them :)... And today is one of those Tuesdays. Normally I try to get the kids a better than normal breakfast and I get everyone doing their school work and my oldest out the door to college (although, much to my surprise, he doesn't need much pushing or assistance to get up and out the door). Once everyone is busy, I usually try to do some cleaning and then have a moment with my laptop and cup of coffee. I check up all the news on Facebook and read emails, and then I usually go into the world of blogging. I check up on all my bloggie friends and try to post a new entry myself.
As I sit down to write, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything! I've been distracted and half doing things...what is up? Well, I forgot something....do you see it missing from my list up there? I missed spending time with the One who gives me strength. I got up a little later than I wanted to and jumped right into breakfast and swishing the kids to their places and....I forgot. But I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and patiently waits for me to pause long enough to hear him call to me. I heard him...and I'm so thankful that I didn't get any further in the day to hear him or my whole day would have felt "off".
I have been so busy lately that my time with God has been very fragmented, not completely cut off but...distracted. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a friend on the phone and you can just tell that they are listing to a family member, or trying to do something while they are on the phone with you? It's like they're half-listening...or a child playing a video game while you are explaining the chores that they need to do...all they say is "m-hmm, OK"...you get the picture. Well, that is probably what God has been having to deal with when talking to me lately. My mind is so cluttered with trying to figure out what I should do about certain situations and trying to keep all these plates spinning that I have decided to put up on these ridiculously high balancing sticks....
But then today I heard him! He reminded me to sit at his feet for a bit. I have a friend who faithfully texts me a verse each morning ( I love her for that, thanks Tam) This morning it was Philippians 2:13 reminding me that it is God that works in me...have I been allowing him to? And then in my devotional Jesus Calling (which I highly recommend) was Isaiah 41:10 " Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" The next verses remind me that God will fight my battles,.... HE will keep my plates spinning.... but only the necessary ones, and HE will protect the fragile ones I can't seem to take my eyes off of...
Does my God know me or what?! He knew exactly what I needed to hear at the just the time I needed to hear it! Don't tell me God isn't personal or doesn't care about what we go through!
Dear friend, do you feel "off"?.....trying to keep some plates of your own spinning?....Feel weak and tired?....Do you know your Father in heaven?....Have you paused to hear Him call to you?...He knows what you need to hear right now, He loves you and is patiently waiting for you to turn your attention to Him...got a minute?
Well it's fall here in South of the Middle of Nowhere. We have had some really beautiful days with beautiful skies, but today...well, it's one of those gray, rainy, curl up in front of the fireplace kinda days. I kind of like it though. I didn't get called into work today, so I get to be home with my kids and have my pot of coffee on all day.
I needed this! I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and have been just plain too busy. My body mind and soul have been letting me know enough is enough, but isn't it amazing how we just keep pushing through?
Not today though, I will allow myself to enjoy and recoup...sit by the window and watch the rain drops gently hit the water streaked glass, help my kids with their schoolwork, read some uplifting scripture, and post a few pictures of my favorite fall scenes. I am thankful for today, and am so glad you stopped by and hope you can enjoy a peaceful moment with me for a bit...you are welcome to stay as long as you like...I'm not going anywhere :)
Wishing you many warm blessings,
Allison
Well, it's been awhile since I have had a new post. We have had a busy summer here at the farm. Our garden did not have a great year, but enjoyed what we managed to get and of course enjoyed friends and family's "extra". There is nothing like the taste of summer in homegrown fruits and veggies!
We got through all the college prep and planning for our oldest and he starts classes Monday, I can't believe I am the mother of a college student! We are in full swing with homeschooling our 10th and 7th graders now...oh how I hate to see summer end, but love getting new books and new office supplies and getting together with all my homeschool friends at our co-op.
I have been thinking about the bonds we women have through the sisterhood of motherhood. These relationships can be so sweet, and honestly all of my mommy friends are fabulous, I love each of them. But I have noticed through out the years, that we can also be quite critical of one another. We all have our opinion of the "best" ways of doing things....and not only have those opinions, but are compelled to get others to share those opinions....Ladies, we need to be really careful here. There is a fine line between a helpful tip or advice vs. a word of advice with a critical tone that makes the hearer feel criticized.
I was a stay at home mom up until 5 years ago and felt judged sometimes by my working mom friends. I felt like they thought all I did was sit around all day, which is so far from the truth. I know some of my working mom friends felt judged by us stay at home moms because they worked.
Let me just say, for our family, we wanted our kids to be at home with me when they were young, and we were willing to sacrifice by living on one income. We felt that was what God was calling US to do. Then when it was time to make the schooling decision, after a short 2 years in Christian school, we decided that God was calling US to homeschool. It was a temptation for me to think that if God was calling US to these things, maybe ALL should feel called to do the same....but I knew that some of my working mom friends really could not do the same...but I still watched others judge each other, and I hate to admit that I got caught up in it too. Then our lives changed...
My husband was injured and could not work for 5 years....now what? My kids were 12, 9,and 6 when he got hurt. I am so very thankful that my children were that old when I had to think about working, but it was really hard. I decided to go back to school and become a massage therapist and do medical message. I had seen the pain that my husband had dealt with all of his adult life and watched him recover from two surgeries and decided that I wanted to work to help relieve pain in peoples lives.
Deciding to go to school was a leap of faith for sure. That year of school and the year of building the business was really tough. We had to rely on assistance and I remember feeling less than human because of it. I had people get mad that I got aide for my schooling. I looked at the aid as a provision from God because there was no way I could pay for it myself. I didn't get a free ride, I still have a student loan....We also had to go on food stamps...this is a tough one for me to admit, but that time we were on them there would've been no way to pay for food...When I was a young girl, my dad left and we had a period of not having much food, I didn't want my kids to be hungry, so I swallowed my pride for them.
We also had to step back from doing things for awhile. People don't seem to understand why you can't go shopping, go on trips, eat out...there is that judgement from others again...
God has been so good, he brought us through that hard period and are no longer relying on assistance even though it was another step of faith to get out of "the system" (if you've never been through the process, you just can't imagine) Anyway, we are doing well, my husband is working and my business has grown. While I would love to be able to come back home full time, I cannot. Maybe in the future, but right now it seems that God is still calling me to be a mom who works outside of the home.
I need to not judge myself for that. I am doing the best I can. It is hard to juggle work and homeschooling, and people question how I do it all the time. Some people have had that critical tone though...that stings and I remember the fact that maybe I stung some precious mom at one time....funny how we at some point in life end up on all sides. God sustains us and turns the ugly into beautiful useful tools....
Through my experiences, I have learned to see hurting children going through abandonment issues, feel the need to help with our churches food pantry to not see families go hungry( and not judge them for needing help), help to relieve pain in peoples bodies, and understand the hearts of both stay at home moms and moms who work outside the home. These are things I may not have ever understood the value in if I had not gone through these things...
My hope in sharing all of this, is that we will stop the quick judgement that comes so easy, and look beyond to peoples hearts and situations...Moms, lets encourage and help one another and be on the same team instead of being divided by lifestyle...we all want the same things for our families anyway. Lets be real with each other.... ugly struggles and all. God has grace enough to cover all of us and we should try give others the gift of grace.
I hope all of you have a wonderful supportive school year no matter where they go to school and am so glad to be a part of this "Sisterhood of Motherhood"
-Love, Allison
18 years sounds like a long time...unless your a mother with a soon to be 18 yr. old. How time has just seemed to slip by. The past couple of weeks have been a little busier than usual. We finished up our homeschool year, got our portfolios of work together, got our evaluations done, sent everything in to get Cody's diploma, and are preparing for a big graduation party this weekend. I would love to slow down and enjoy this...I don't want it to pass by and feel as though I worked on "it" so much that I feel I missed "it".
I have had my emotional moments this past year ( you know this if you are a regular reader). Probably the most recent one was when a fedex box came with Cody's cap and gown in it....he was all excited and put the cap on...all I saw was his little face in his kindergarten graduation cap! Wasn't that just yesterday?! Of course that image faded and I saw the handsome young man before me. Oh, there are still shadows of that 5 yr. old ornery smile there, but this tall, strong, young man of God, has grown up before my eyes. I am proud of him...
Any homeschool family out there will tell you... there are moments of real doubt...am I doing the right thing?...Is he learning enough?...We took homeschooling one year at a time, and here we are finished!
Cody has far out learned me...proof that God is in control. He did well on his SATs and earned a high honors scholarship and will go to college this fall...I DIDN'T RUIN HIM!!! This makes me want to hang in there with my other two boys and see this through. It has been hard, my husband & I both work, but we feel so strongly that this is our job to educate and train these boys. It has taken some getting use to me not being home full time, but with the boys older and able to work independently, it is working. (of course I want each year to be better than the last)
So as I clean the house, cook for the crowd that is coming, sort through pictures to display...I want to enjoy, look up, take it all in. This is an accomplishment for our homeschool family, but it is a memory for us that I want to slow down and enjoy.
Cody, we are so proud of you. Can't wait to see where God leads you!
